Unconditional Love For Yourself Isn't "Earned"
My arms... I used to struggle with them. They were just... "big" to me. With no shape. I feared the "waving waddle" of the bottom of my arm when I'd wave or clap as I aged. Those were thoughts in my head; I used to not look in the mirror when doing tricep exercises at the gym, because I didn't want to have those negative feelings about myself.
I decided, years ago, if they were going to be big, I was going to at least have them defined. Well, I got my goal, but it didn't change the way I felt about my arms, other than... "okay, at least it's not just a round *thing* now." It actually makes me sad inside thinking the thoughts I used to think to myself. I didn't view myself as a person worthy of unconditional love - from myself. The love I was going to be feeling for myself was only going to be available when.
when my arms were slimmer, more defined
when my legs looked less stocky
when my love handles went away
How mean is that? Would we ever feel that way about our sister? Best friend? Mother? "Oh, I'll only love you if you look like I want you to look." - We would never think those things or say them to someone else. Why do we say/think them to ourselves?? When really, that person --YOU-- is doing the best they can? Is the most important? When they(you) really are perfectly good and fine and lovable all on their(your) own.
Next time you think something negative about yourself, say it out loud, in the mirror, in third person to yourself. It'll completely change the way you talk about yourself. "She's not good enough," sounds a whole lot different making eye contact with yourself in a mirror than the thought crossing your mind. Be kind. Kind to others and most importantly, kind to yourself, you really do deserve that. It's a practice, one we should be practicing every day.